Ahhh yes, the keg stand. The pillar of bro-dem upon which the weight of the mighty brocropolis rests. I hold you, you hold me, and together we get drunk. A message as central to the ideals of brohood as any, yet very little is known about “The Stand’s” origins. That is of course until now.

The keg stand, as we know it today, was invented in 1873 by William Henry Bronson III. Billy (as his bro’s often called him) awoke one summer morning and headed off to the fields to start the long day’s work. The air reeked of familiarity and routine. Billy, like his father and his father before him, was a simple farmer. Each day he watered his plants, tilled the fields, and managed the weeds. He did so for 14 hours a day allowing himself a meager half hour lunch break, during which he ate his Ramen under the farm’s sickly apple tree. One particular day while Billy sat eating his noodles the tree’s lone apple fell from the sky and struck him on the head, knocking him out. The collision must have rattled his brain, for he awoke with an idea. This idea, my most valued Bros, was the keg stand. Issac Newton later stole Billy’s story, family farm and fucked his wife. He is not a bro. Billy however is. The day was August 3rd and today we commemorate Billy and the Keg Stand. Outtie 5000.