2023 - Week 6

Scotty Mo is averaging north of 118 a week and this week, absolutely decimated his No Safe Words competition. Tyreak continues to be the freakiest non-qb in fantasy, dropping 25 and the rest of Scott’s team filled out the stat sheet. Spencer was the lowest man on the scoring totem pole in Week 6, not that it would have mattered much, playing the high scorer and all, but it can’t feel good!

Even though I was the 4th highest scorer this week (I know, very brag-worthy), Dallas shoved a banana right down my throat and beat me 112-95. Cooper Kupp is back, Mahomes is still Mahomes, and Dallas picks up his second straight win in a row.

Nick won a game in 2023! Nick blew another team out! Raheem Mostert may be real real real good at football now that Achane is out! The Cocaine Bears have not been looking focused lately, this is their third loss in a row. Jake looks to get things back on track in Week 7 against a very intimidating Stunning & Brave squad. Some have said this could be the best 2-4 team in history. Only time will tell!

OTT IS HIM looked a little more short bus and a little less savant this week, scoring a season low 69 (niiiiiiice) points on the back of a struggling Justin Fields, the team just couldn’t get much going. Mason is still somehow winning games and I just have no idea how. Incredible work!

Man, Ragen was THAT close to taking Eric down! Deebo Samuel and Jake Elliott are giant bitches, oh and Keenan Allen can lick my balls. Eric sits comfy and alone at the top of the standings with a flawless 6-0 sexy start. Can Scott be our savior and take down Rim Riders??

BRADLEY WINS! BRADLEY WINS! I don’t believe it folks, Bradley wins! Even while starting Zay Jones, who was out all week, Bradley somehow puts it all together and scores 64 points to take Tank down. I honestly wasn’t sure he’d be able to snag a W, congratulations B-rad.

Happy Week 7, go fuck yourselves, very sensually and with beautiful warm oil.

Commish Out!

Oct 25 12:49 PM